Tuesday, February 3, 2009

California Dreamin' Leaves Us Blue

Requim for a Dream was quite a movie - I mean wow. The images on the giant screen before me took me for an unexpected ride and left me perplexed and upset at the hard reality of durgs and our world today. The strong sense of loneliness toward the end of the movie was practically seeping out, and I was left like a bystanding, wounded tree. Thank God for the five minute break at the end. By the cast list, I was shaking, trying to hold back tears, but the giant bulge was creeping up. I put my shoes on and stormed into the bathroom, trying to conceal just how upset I was. Truth be told, I just couldn't hold back my tears. Requim for a dream is one sad story. No good comes out...no happy ending...no hope. I can see why this was # 13 Premiere Magazine's Most Dangerous List - Americans are left both shocked and disturbed by the series of events which unfold in this movie. We are not used to sad endings; we do not like sad endings.

From Beautiful Boy we learned that addiction to drugs is a disease which we did not cause and cannot cure; it's all within the individual. Although I pitty Marian, Harry, and Tyrone's situation they had a fractional idea of what they were getting into. They voluntarily took the first dose. My heart goes out to Sarah, who had no idea what she was doing to herself, and she had no idea where those four colorful pills were going to lead her. She is the epitome of lonliness in its most raw form. It makes me cringe to try and put myself in her shoes - although we all must have that fear sub-consciously. The fear that we will grow old, and end up alone. Alone to wallow in our lonliness and self pitty, and no longer be needed by anyone after an entire lifetime of adjusting to taking care of others.

All four of the main characters have their own requiem for a dream. Their own dream. Sarah's to be on TV and be important, known, and needed; as well as having her son awknowlege her and show his love for her. Marian wanted a life with Harry, with a space where she could design clothers. Tyrone wanted to live a better life and fullfill his mom's words. Harry wanted to build a life for himself, better than the one he came from. All four of these characters are haunted by their dream and in the end if remains simply a dream.

What are we willing to pay for our dreams? Through the characters' quests we find that they are willing to sacrifice all that they have in hopes for unrealistic images in their head.

It did not surprise me that Harry was saying "It'll be like that again man" to Tyrone when they were hitting one of their drug and financial lows. It seems as if addicts are always saying how it will get better. I have to wonder where they get all of that hope? Is it the chemical substances that fill thier veins and lift them? I suppose it wouldn't be hard to dream and hope if you spent half of your waking time in the clouds.

Once again it becomes evident that drug use diminishes all boundaries which were once established, through every characters' drug use. They are dellusional and will do anything for another hit. The plot quickly turns into a never ending chase for drugs. Without realizing it, each of the character's drug use begins to separate them. Separating a family bond, friendship, and a love.

The images which make up the ending of this horrific story will be permanently pressed into a file in the back of my mind. This movie alone is reason enough for me to never touch drugs. I feel that the fact that each of the four characters, separated in the end, turns to their right and curls up in the fetal position screams their regret and sorrow for letting themselves get to where they are. Where do they go from here? We may never know. However we are left with the image of Sarah, looking glamorous in her red dress, all done up, on stage of her favorite show along with Harry telling him she loves him, and him saying the same to his mother.

If we think about this realistically, Sarah ruined herself over a foolish deception. She received a phone call, which in turn changed her life. Everything began to be directed towards this one cause. This just shows that she had nothing else left, she needed this opportunity as something to look forward to, even if it were never real.

Lastly, another scene which struck me is when Harry is walking towards the ocean on the dock at the end. Unlike the beginning of the movie, Marian was not there this time. He was alone and when he walked up to the railing and looked at the water he began to walk back, after which he fell off the edge of the dock into a dark street. His last words were "Marian". They say that if you fall into black space in your dreams it symbolizes death. In a way each of these characters fell into their own, unintentionally, self-created, black hole and suffered a kind of death by separation from everything they ever dreamed of and loved.

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